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Holiday Greetings [ The Happy Hour Archive | obereed.net ] [Happy Hour, 4pm at Charley's - like you don't know... ] And now a word from our sponsor... Hey, I hear the 80's are making a comeback! Straight from the top of the Billboard charts and into your living room comes "A Very Cognitive Holiday," the smash hit from Dan and the Neurons. This album includes all your favorites. With classics, and new hits, "A Very Cognitive Holiday" is THE album to buy. Just take a listen: I'd Say No (To This Manuscript) (to the tune of Let It Snow) Oh, the writing style is frightful, And the authors are not insightful, And the P values are not that low, I'd say no, I'd say no, I'd say no. Reading this is so darn trying, And their subjects just kept on dying; Their methods, they simply blow, I'd say no, I'd say no, I'd say no. I can hardly keep from crying, On such faulty logic they were relying, And since you really wanted to know, I'd say no, I'd say no, I'd say no. And there's the haunting sounds of: I Saw Mommy Measure Reaction Times (to I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus) I saw Mommy measure reaction times She'd been programming PsyScope all night. The computer made a beep which woke me from my sleep; The keyboard made some clicks While the clock made some ticks. Then, I saw Mommy look at her data Which by the way is a plural word; Oh, what joy she would have found If the results had been sound As Mommy measured reaction time last night. How much would you pay?!? Don't answer, because you also get: The George Miller Song (To Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer) You know Pashler and Lance Rips And Shoben and Wickens, Rosch and Loftus And Donders and Luchins. But do you recall The most famous psychologist of all? George the famous Miller Is a name everybody knows And if you ever saw him You might try to kiss his toes All of the other researchers Used to laugh and call him names They never let George Miller Earn any real big fame Then in 1956 Miller began to say Even if you're very bright The limit of 7 is very tight Then all the researchers loved him And they shouted out with glee "George the famous Miller You understand short-term memory!" So act fast, and call 1-800-hot-psych for your very own copy of "A Very Cognitive Holiday." CD $18.95, 8-track $12.95. Sorry no COD's. If you act now we'll also throw in this blast from the past: ODE TO HAPPY HOUR By Stroop Task (A pseudonym) Twas three weeks before classes and all through the fourth floor, not a person was happy not even Travis Seymour The summer was ending it would soon be too cold to bike, even the mail service was slow due to the UPS strike What shall we do they asked one and all, we want to have fun before the onset of Fall Just then from the computer there came a great noise, it was an e-mail from Dan adressed to these girls and boys Today at Charley's at four on the dot, we could all use a beer it would definitely hit the spot Come Beth and Winston Come Shana and Shane Come all you Andrea's However you pronounce your name The message continued to all these friends, come Polk come Gehring come Reuter-Lorenz With Maren and Meyer and all the CPS kids sitting, drinking inside (outside, weather permitting) So come one come all and take a break, you'll be amazed at the difference some fun can make "The Question" will be big as it usually is, and keep in mind the work it took for me to write this So take some time it'll really be nice, we may even discuss the great film Children in Paradise. Well that's it the end of my rhyme, until 4 o'clock then when we'll have a great time! |