Holiday Greetings

[ The Happy Hour Archive | ]

[Happy Hour, 4pm at Charley's - like you don't know... ]

And now a word from our sponsor...

Hey, I hear the 80's are making a comeback!

Straight from the top of the Billboard charts and into your living room
comes "A Very Cognitive Holiday," the smash hit from Dan and the Neurons.
This album includes all your favorites.  With classics, and new hits, "A
Very Cognitive Holiday" is THE album to buy.  Just take a listen:

I'd Say No (To This Manuscript)
(to the tune of Let It Snow)

Oh, the writing style is frightful,
And the authors are not insightful,
And the P values are not that low,
I'd say no, I'd say no, I'd say no.

Reading this is so darn trying,
And their subjects just kept on dying;
Their methods, they simply blow,
I'd say no, I'd say no, I'd say no.

I can hardly keep from crying,
On such faulty logic they were relying,
And since you really wanted to know,
I'd say no, I'd say no, I'd say no.

And there's the haunting sounds of:

I Saw Mommy Measure Reaction Times
(to I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus)

I saw Mommy measure reaction times
She'd been programming PsyScope all night.
The computer made a beep
which woke me from my sleep;
The keyboard made some clicks
While the clock made some ticks.
Then, I saw Mommy look at her data
Which by the way is a plural word;
Oh, what joy she would have found
If the results had been sound
As Mommy measured reaction time last night.

How much would you pay?!?  Don't answer, because you also get:

The George Miller Song
(To Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer)

You know Pashler and Lance Rips
And Shoben and Wickens,
Rosch and Loftus
And Donders and Luchins.
But do you recall 
The most famous psychologist of all?

George the famous Miller
Is a name everybody knows
And if you ever saw him
You might try to kiss his toes
All of the other researchers
Used to laugh and call him names
They never let George Miller
Earn any real big fame

Then in 1956
Miller began to say
Even if you're very bright
The limit of 7 is very tight
Then all the researchers loved him
And they shouted out with glee
"George the famous Miller
You understand short-term memory!"

So act fast, and call 1-800-hot-psych for your very own copy of "A Very
Cognitive Holiday."  CD $18.95, 8-track $12.95.  Sorry no COD's.

If you act now we'll also throw in this blast from the past:

By Stroop Task (A pseudonym)

Twas three weeks before classes
and all through the fourth floor,
not a person was happy
not even Travis Seymour

The summer was ending
it would soon be too cold to bike,
even the mail service was slow
due to the UPS strike

What shall we do
they asked one and all,
we want to have fun
before the onset of Fall

Just then from the computer
there came a great noise,
it was an e-mail from Dan
adressed to these girls and boys

Today at Charley's
at four on the dot,
we could all use a beer
it would definitely hit the spot

Come Beth and Winston
Come Shana and Shane
Come all you Andrea's
However you pronounce your name

The message continued
to all these friends,
come Polk come Gehring
come Reuter-Lorenz

With Maren and Meyer
and all the CPS kids sitting,
drinking inside
(outside, weather permitting)

So come one come all
and take a break,
you'll be amazed at
the difference some fun can make

"The Question" will be big
as it usually is,
and keep in mind the work
it took for me to write this

So take some time
it'll really be nice,
we may even discuss the great film
Children in Paradise.

Well that's it
the end of my rhyme,
until 4 o'clock then
when we'll have a great time!

[ The Happy Hour Archive | ]