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Davius, the Scientist King [ The Happy Hour Archive | obereed.net ]
A new play by William Shakespeare
As told through an Oracle
to Shane and Dan.
Dramatus Personae
Davius (Major) Principle Investigator
Jenglassus Post-doctoral ne'er-do-well
Shanus Loyal Lackey
Eric A shoe maker
Davius Minor Lab member and Conspirator of Jenglassus
Travus Davius Major's fool
Ceritus The ghost of a former lab member
Act I
The Dungeons of East Hall, outside The Laboratory ]
[Enter Davius, Jenglassus, Shanus and Travus ]
Davius: Come Shanus and Travus. The Lab Meeting awaits.
Jenglassus: Prithee, my mentor. Lend to me thine ear.
Davius: Fret not, fair maiden, mine attention's rapt.
Jenglassus (Aside): Thus unfolds the first step of a vile plan,
I shall soon topple an evil empyre.
Anon my plan will become apparant.
Shanus: Alas, wherefore art Davius Minor?
[Enter Davius Minor on horseback ]
Davius Minor: I arrive this fine morn from the lab of Erp.
Travus: I smelt the odour of electrode gel.
Minor Davius doth have Major plans.
Davius: Enough fool! Jenglassus?
Jenglassus: Aye?
Davius: Your question?
Jenglassus: 'Tis a simple request.
Davius: Continue then...
Jenglassus: Wilt thou attend the Hour of Mirth this night?
Davius: Not shackles nor maidens will prevent it.
Jenglassus: Then it shall truly be a Happy Hour.
[Exeunt to the Laboratory ]
Act II
The shoppe of Eric the Shoe maker ]
[Enter Eric, Jenglassus and Davius Minor ]
Jenglassus: [To Davius Minor ] We must get thee to the shoemaker's shoppe.
Davius Minor: [To Jenglassus ] Tell me again why?
Eric: Canst I help who's next?
Jenglassus: [To Eric ] One moment, sir.
[To Davius Minor ] You need new boots, you twit.
Tonight we poison Davius Major,
By the morrow, you shall sit on his throne.
Davius Minor: Yes, for my coronation is tonight.
Eric: [Overhearing ] A coronation?
Jenglassus: Pay the fool no heed.
Eric: [Aside ] Strange, this talk of Coronation tonight.
Davius Major is not of poor health.
[To Others ] I have here a fine pair of boots for you.
[Exeunt Jenglassus and Davius Minor with boots in towe ]
[Enter the ghost Ceritus Parabis ]
Eric: Begone, evil spirit. Molest me not.
For I am but a humble shoemaker.
Ceritus: Whoooooooo! Whooooooo! You heard the plans of Jenglassus
Eric: But I miscomprehend their evil scheme.
Ceritus: You must tell the Lackey of Davius,
This night, his mortal soul is in danger.
[Exit Ceritus ]
[Enter Shanus, Lackey of Davius ]
Shanus: Attention, Shoemaker! I come for shoes.
Eric: For Whom?
Shanus: For my leige, Davius Major.
For This night's Hour of Mirth, good shoemaker.
Eric: James Dale, the Earl of Gilmore wore these boots.
Shanus: I must have them. He will be pleased with me.
Eric: Warn Davius: His life is in peril.
The goblet from which he drinks is poison.
[Exeunt ]
Act III
[Good-Tyme Charley's ]
[Enter Jenglassus ]
Jenglassus: [Aside ] This poison'd ale will finish Davius.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
[Enter Shanus, who sees Jenglassus with the poison. ]
Shanus: You will not succeed in your evil plan!
I will save the life of good Davius.
[Shanus draws knife and kills Jenglassus. ]
Die, Infidel! Davius shall still reign.
[Enter Travus ]
Travus: What is the commotion, good friend Shanus?
[Shanus turns to Travus, as Davius Minor appears behind Shanus and stabs
him in the back. In response, Travus removes his foil and strikes down
Davius Minor. He approaches the dying Shanus. ]
Shanus: I was but a simple curve-fitter. Arghhh.
[Shanus dies. ]
[Enter Davius Major ]
Davius: What is this horrific scene mine eyes see?
Travus: My lord, 'tseems they have joined Good Ceritus.
Davius: Let us drink then, fool, to their memory.
[Travus brings Davius the poisoned ale. They both drink of the goblet
and die. ]
[Enter Ceritus. ]
Ceritus: These poor souls have perished, and so is told,
The tale of Davius and his friends of old.
The curtain falls. ]
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