Truth About Psychology--Happy Hour Expose

[ The Happy Hour Archive | ]


I'd like to begin by cordially inviting each and every one of you to
today's (friday) cog/per happy hour.  We'll be heading over to Dominick's
at 4pm.  In case you don't know, Dominick's, famous for their mason jars
full of beer or sangria, is located near the business school, just south of
the law quad on the corner of Monroe and Tappan.

You may be wondering what the big deal about a seemingly innocent happy
hour could be.  We'll what the media doesn't want you to know, is that
we've uncovered some potentially damaging information that could bring the
study of cognitive psychology to its knees.  For example:

It turns out that Linda was, in fact, a feminist bank teller.  However, the
story doesn't end there.  Fed up with her company's glass ceiling, Linda
quit her job and started her own cable network.  The result:  The Lifetime
Network.  Linda is now a millionare living in Malibu.

Stanley Milgrim had real problems with authority.  That's right, his resent
for superiors is legendary in some circles.  In fact, it is rumored that he
invented the phrase "you're not the boss of me!"

H.M., the famous amnesic is malingering, his memory is fine.  Yep, he's
actually a grad student in Public Health working on a killer Dissertation
about the state of mental health care in America.  And, his name isn't even

As a graduate student, a young Dave Meyer is reported to have broken Fitts'

And there's lots more!

Come to happy hour and learn about:
Frank Yates' inability to make hard decisions.
Dave Meyer's bottleneck
Ed Smith's inability to identify natural kinds
John Jonides' incredibly small working memory
My own hatred for card games.

So show up, and learn the truth.  Or at least enjoy a cold drink on a hot
friday.  If not for yourself, then for me,  think about how long it took me
to write this e-mail.

See you there!

[ The Happy Hour Archive | ]