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Save the Graduate Students [ The Happy Hour Archive | obereed.net ]
[Happy hour, you know when, you know where ]
TO: Friends in Academia
FROM: Sally Struthers for Save the Students
RE: Have a heart
Hello kind soul,
My name is Sally Struthers, you may remember me as Gloria on television's
All in The Family. You may also be aware of my work as Sally Struthers on
the Save the Students Fund commercials. I am writing to you today to ask
your help.
You may be aware of the plight of the poor graduate student. These
children have been forced to fend for themselves in the brutal academic
jungle. Often shoeless and hungry these creatures can be found huddling
around computers for warmth. Many of them can't even afford their own copy
cards.
These horrors must stop! I have made it my life's mission to save the
students. Today, I need you to keep my dream alive. For only pennies a
day you can adopt a student of your own. By sponsoring a student you will
bring hope into a life that has not experienced anything but suffering.
You have an opportunity to make a real difference.
Your donation will be used to pay for conference registration,
photocopying, rent, notebooks and food for your child. In return you will
receive a monthly letter, hand written in crayon, from your student. He or
she will update you on his or her research and class performance. In
addition, you will receive copies of all articles and posters that your
student authors.
Now, you can choose your student's field of study, sex, and even his or her
university. When we receive your generous donation we will rush you a copy
of your child's CV as well as a picture of him or her. Many of our foster
parents even attend their students' graduations.
Please, before another one of these poor souls has to get a job doing stats
consulting, or web page design, before one of them has to tutor
undergraduates, or teach - Help save the students.
Thank you,
Sally Struthers
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