The Lost Book of Memory

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[C&P, student/faculty/friend Happy hour this Friday at 4pm at Charley's
(outside, weather permitting). ]


JERUSELUM, 18-Sept-1997 (AP) - In what they're calling the most significant
archeological find in decades, a team of researchers has uncovered a
previously unknown ancient book of prayer.  The Book of Memory, as it is
being called, makes known the long history of memory research.  In
addition, it appears to make a number of predictions in its cryptic verses.

"We're utterly astounded, I can't remember when we've found such an
important relic so easily," remarked team leader Sara Purcell, "Nobody can
recall such an event, however we've had a few people who claim to recognize
this book, but we haven't fully explored that avenue."

What sets this finding apart from other similar discoveries is the fact
that the book had not been buried by the sands of time, but rather had been
buried under a pile of tests in office of graduate studies in the
department of Psychology at Hebrew University in Israel.  Its good
condition, indicates that the tests were able to buffer it from the
environment during this long period.  Some have estimated that book may be
as much as 4000 years old.  Electron carbon dating results won't be in
until late next week.

Below are a few of the more interesting passages from this new book.

>From the Book of Memory, Chapter 12
13  And from a House in the land of Ebbing, came meaning shrouded in nonsense.
14  The appearance of the CVC, brought with it a great change.
15  Thine own self shall be thy subject He sayeth unto the peoples of the
Ebbing house.
16  Thy forgetting curve and savings sprang forth, and it was done.

Book of Memory, Chapter 17
23  Ebbing begat McGeoch and Melton who begat Smith who begat Shoben and
Rips and Furnas and Geva and Marscheutz, and it was good.

Book of Memory, Chapter 18
18  Whereupon Peterson and Peterson begat what Brown had begat as well, a
task of retention fell upon the peoples of the world.
19  Ye shall say nonsense for a period of time and then from thy memory try
and recall.
20  And forgetting was seen, and it was bad.

Book of Memory, Chapter 28
4  Whereupon Melton, a man of great knowledge came to a division.
5  In confusion he asked aloud, "Are mine eyes deceiving me?  Is this a
single memory or are there two?"
6  And he heard no answer.
7  As he continued his journey, Melton was forced into decision, and went
with but a single store of knowledge.
8  And his enemies, believing in the two, set off toward the promised land.

Book of Memory, Chapter 31
17  And from the east came Quillian, with a network of meaning, and it was
18  Smith, son of Melton, father of Shoben and Rips, looked unto this
network and said "It shall not be."
19  For Smith saw a model of two stages from which knowledge emerged.
20  And unto the Dogs and the Mammals and Animals of the land did Smith
show his model.
21  Whereupon Collins and Loftus came upon his structure, and also that of
Meyer, and said "it is more complex than we can hope to know, with
shortcuts and networks and stages, we shall try and comprehend its meaning."
22  And thenceforth semantics was ignored.

Book of Memory, Chapter 41
10  In another land a young woman named Milner came across a man with no
memory and called him H. M.
11  And upon H. M. came great interest, with Squire and Milner and others
who poketh and prodeth his mind.
12  He can learn skills, came the word, yet no new facts are retained.
13  And there was great excitement.
14  For H.M. had demonstrateth an intact knowledge of procedures yet not
one of declarations.

Book of Memory, Chapter 96
32  And Atkinson begat Shiffrin and rehearsal was found.
33  Unto the multitudes Atkinson exclaimed that for a long store one must
repeat with P getting larger as one followeth his rule.
34  And for many days and nights it was thought that this memory of short
term was passive.
35  One day it was that Baddeley from over the sea declared that this short
term store was in fact working
36  And he himself began working to show it was so.

Book of Memory, Chapter 99
22  And unto Jonides of Michigan came this idea of a working memory.
23  And into the head he began to look for its location.
24  To his subjects he said, "look back two items, and tell me if you see a
25  And it was done, and colorful pictures sprang forth to show this
26  And it was good.

In addition to the above passages, the book also contains a number of
psalms, one of which is shown below:

Psalm 619 - The Prelimmer's Prayer

Dave is my shepard;  I shall not fail.
He prepareth me for two semesters.
He telleth me about cool studies.
He giveth me homework.
He leadeth discussions and explaineth the concepts.
Yea, though I taketh the prelim under the shadow of death.
I will fear no question, for thou hath taught me.
Thy RT and thy math they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table of D primes in the presence of noise.
Thou filleth my head with knowledge.
My brain runneth over.
Surely tenure and citations shall follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in a house like the Olsons' for ever.

As part of its North American tour, the Book of Memory will be visiting Ann
Arbor on Friday at 4pm at Goodtime Charley's.  It will be displayed
outdoors if weather permits.  Come down and see a piece of history.


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