Ending Evolution in Kansas

[ The Happy Hour Archive | obereed.net ]

No More Evolution in Kansas - Other Theories To Get Same Treatment?

(Reuters) AUGUST 11 - The Kansas Board of Education voted today on a new
science curriculum that eliminates the study of evolution as an underlying
principle of biology and other sciences.  The vote was hailed by most
enemies of rational thought as a step toward removing unnecessary
scientifically derived and tested theories.

"It's only a theory," Scott Hill, a farmer and board member pointed out,
"it's not like there's any evidence that's been thoughtfully debated and
subjected to scientific scrutiny" he added, before rubbing his magic rabbit
foot and laughing maniacally.

While scientists and educators have been shocked, others see this as the
opportunity to rid public schools of other "theories" that have been pushed
on unwilling students.  "This is a great day not only for creation
scientists, but for members of the anti-gravity community as well,"
proclaimed one noted pseudomoralist. "We've been held prisoner to the whims
of the liberal scientific establishment too long."

In addition to evolution and gravity, movements are afoot to restrict the
teaching of mathematics, upon which such controversial techniques as
radiocarbon dating and multiplication are based, and astronomy, which has
been used to develop theories that contradict the geocentric model of the
universe presented in biblical accounts.  It is believed that astronomy can
easily be replaced by the more well established field of astrology.  Less
mature, but equally bolstered are movements to ban the teaching of civil
war and civil rights movements which detractors claim are part of a
far-reaching leftist conspiracy.

The goal of these educational revisionists is to prevent children's young,
malleable minds from being exposed to "book learnin' "  according to Mr.
Hill, a Scorpio.  "Why should these so-called educators have the ability to
teach such drivel to our kids?  This could lead to dancing" added Hill as
he left for a taping of Jerry Springer's "Book Burners Who Think They're
All That" episode.

[ The Happy Hour Archive | obereed.net ]