Country Music Psychology Songs

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I recently went to a psychology conference in Nashville, and was surprised
to find that Travis "Tex" Seymore's "There Ain't No Geons in a Broken
Heart" is being played by house bands in every little honkey-tonk and
blues bar in the area.  That successful marriage of psychology and country
music has spurred many imitators, and so I heard a number of other
country/psychology tunes being played around the Music City.  There is
even a rumor that executives on Music Row are considering putting together
a compilation album. Here's a few of the other song's I heard:


This song even has a country line dance that goes with it.  It is a
rough-n-tumble song with a walking bass-line that makes cowgirls want to
kick up their heels.

Well, we've all got a theory of mind
Even if you only think you do.
Don't think I'm being unkind,
If I don't think that you think that I've got one too.

I wuz thinkin'
that you wuz thinkin'
that I wuz drinkin'
cuz you wuz thinkin'
that I wuz thinkin' 
that you wuz bein' untrue.


Well, I started drinkin'
cuz I started to thinkin'
that you were winkin'
at that guy in the Lincoln
And that's when I stopped thinkin'
I wuz still in love with you.



This song, sung to the tune of "The Red River Valley", reincarnates the
old song of loving and leaving with modern lyrics informed by Signal
Detection Theory.  Rumor has it Leanne Rimes will be putting it on her
next album. 

When I saw you, you were like a signal
Embedded in a background of noise
You were really a boot-wearing monster
Just like all of the other cowboys

Well, I think that it might be the whiskey,
that shifted my bias so low;
My d-prime faded ever so quickly
My response was a yes, not a no.

Although maybe your tattoo of "Momma"
Made me think that you'd cause me no harm;
But the feedback I got told me better.
You were an ugly false alarm.

Then again, I've forgotten the base rate
There are thousands of men just like you
Even though I paid careful attention
A few losers will still filter through

So please take this advice, all you ladies
Now Birdsall and Tanner and Swets,
May be good at determining signals
But in love, lead to tears and regrets. 

"Just a Faster Choice RT" or "The Research Subject's Prayer"

This remake of "Just a Closer Walk with Thee" has hit the gospel charts
with a bullet and is expected to go gold by September.  Unexpectedly (for
a gospel song), it has garnered a lot of airplay on College radio stations 
at large research institutions:

Just a faster choice RT
Grant this, Jesus if you please.
I'll be stuck in this study;  Lest you
Grant me speed in my RT.

I am weak but you are strong
My reaction time's too long
Plus, my choices are all wrong; I want
Just a faster choice RT.

I see words and I say "Yes"
Non-words cause me pain I guess.
And my data are a mess, so please
Just a faster choice RT.

We will meet at Charlie's on Friday at 4:00 to learn the new line-dance,
and have a sing-along.  Summer is almost over, so make sure you come
enjoy the last few Friday afternoons before the students return.

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