Meet the Candidates

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As part of their voter education project, the League of Cognition
Voters will be holding a town meeting to discuss the positions of the
presidential candidates on relevant cognitive theories. Please plan
on attending, it should be fun and educational.  Below you will find
a brief platform summary of each candidate.

Buchanan

* Short Term Memory
Supports Atkinson and Shiffrin's outdated model of STM.  When asked
why he opposed the more modern, and empirically supported model
proposed by Baddeley, Buchanan responded that he wouldn't support
"one of them limey bastard theories."  An apparent reference to
Baddeley's British heritage.

Trump

* Evolutionary Psychology
Claiming that this distinguishes him from the Buchanan campaign,
Trump is a firm supporter of evolutionary psychology.  He is
particularly supportive of work that demonstrates that males are
inherently polygamous, and shouldn't be held responsible (by means
such as alimony) for their sexual dalliances.

Forbes

* Motor Control
Has repeatedly called for the repeal of Fitts' law.  Claiming that it
hurts the American economy.

W. Bush

* Repressed Memories
George W. Bush supports Terr's claims that repressed memories are a
real phenomenon. Mr. W. Bush vows to introduce legislation to
encourage, and in some cases require, repression of memories of
"youthful indiscretions."

McCain

* Associative Nature of Memory
This former POW and all around American Hero who kind of looks like a
younger John Glenn, supports work that indicates that human memory is
associative.  His campaign will take two approaches based on these
findings  Some campaign ads will feature McCain discussing his
torturous years in the Hanoi Hilton while he plays with cute puppies,
while other ads will focus on how at the same time, fellow candidate
Gov. W. Bush may possibly have considered being associated with
people who spent time around cocaine and other bad drugs.

Bradley

* Attention
Bradley has forcefully argued that attention should be allocated to
the most needy among us. His claims have been called "crazy" by noted
psychologist George Sperling who claims that attention is not a
limited resource, but rather a "state of mind, dude."

Gore

* Fallability of Eyewitness Testimony
Wholly supports work by Loftus that claims that we shouldn't place
much emphasis on eyewitness accounts, as they are easily distorted.
In a recent town hall meeting, he demonstrated this effect by
claiming that despite the overwhelming public belief that he is
somehow associated with president Clinton, the two have never even
met.

Quayle

* Missing Letter Effect
Had he remained in the race, this would have undoubtedly been the
focus of his campaign.




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