Dan's Believe It....Or Not!

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[C&P&Friends happy hour:  Friday 4pm at Charley's, outdoors - weather
permitting ]

For those of you who've been coming to happy hour, it is common knowledge
that we've discovered some interesting facts about members of our area.
For those of you who haven't been coming, I figured I'd let you in on a few
of these secrets.  Some of my data are based on observation, others are
primarily inferences.  So come on by, sit back and think to yourself, do
you Believe It, or Not!?

FACT:  Our own THAD POLK is world renown as the cuter half of the Amazin'
Tap Dancin' Polk Twins (as seen on TV).

FACT:  BILL GEHRING is reportedly able to enter a Zen-like state under
which he has no measurable ERP activity.

FACT:  PATTI REUTER-LORENZ paid her way through graduate school as a
musical Brainette, singing and dancing with her trademark glasses at
weddings and Bar Mitzvahs.  Although it wasn't until she teamed up with
COLLEEN SEIFERT and DENISE PARK, under the management of DAVE MEYER that
she hit it big.

FACT:  Although we don't like to brag, SHANE MUELLER and I have a personal
e-mail correspondance with the current MISS AMERICA.

FACT:  Although there is little scientific evidence, ANDREA MOSMANN claims
that she knows someone who met the legendary MAN FROM NANTUKET, (who by the
way is married to a LADY FROM REGINA).

FACT:  In some countries HEATHER POND is thought to be able to relieve
headaches with a simple stare.  And interestingly, I use to fish at the
Heather Pond when I was a kid.

FACT:  DAVE MEYER is scheduled to play DONALD SOUTHERLAND in the 1998
summer film, "My Life, My Beard."

FACT:  ED SMITH is immune to the Stroop effect.  It is thought that this
may be due to a bite by a RADIOACTIVE SPIDER.

FACT:  WINSTON SEICK is an anagram for "Sicken Its Own" and "Stoic New Skin."

FACT:  ANAT GEVA's working memory is entirely semantically based, she does
not show a phonological similarity effect.

FACT:  JOHN JONIDES's last name sounds like someone saying "do you need us"
really, really fast.

FACT:  After years of practice, DAVE FENCSIK no longer needs to use his
occipital lobe, all visual functioning occurs in some leftover regions of
his frontal lobe.

FACT:  If his name were legal in Scrabble, JUN ZHANG would be worth 28
points (assuming no bonus squares).

FACT:  A songwriter, TRAVIS SEYMOUR is only capable of writing lyrics about
women who "done him wrong."

FACT:  GARY and JUDY OLSON have found it more efficient to share a single,
super huge brain.

FACT:  GEORGE FURNAS is ANAT GEVA and CHRISTY MARSHEUTZ's academic cool
older brother.

FACT:  Newcomer, RICK GONZALEZ doesn't even like statistics.  On his vita
he was referring to his uncanny ability to remember batting averages.

FACT:  In her spare time, BETH VEINOTT picks up extra money wrestling
crocadiles and undergraduates.  She's undefeated.

FACT:  STEVE MAREN screams like a girl when he sees a mouse.  He writes off
his research costs as "therapy."

FACT:  In his younger days ERIC SCHUMACHER was seen running through the
campus of UCLA with a big "Who loves ya Hal? We Do!" sign.

FACT:  The average HUMAN HEAD weighs 8 pounds, yet ANDREA MILLER's weighs
nearly 8.5.

FACT:  Both PAULs have facial hair.  And neither one has a British accent.

FACT:  GREG STEVENS had a secretary named HEDDEN and TREY HEDDEN had a
secretary named STEVENS.

FACT:  CERITA JONES has such poor multitasking abilities that she has to
pull off to the side of the road to adjust the volume on her car radio.

FACT:  FRANK YATES and ANDREA PATALANO can never decide where to eat.

FACT:  JEN GLASS can summon horses with her mind.

FACT:  Both SHANAs are genetically engineered miracles of biotechnology,
designed to withstand a nuclear blast.  Interestingly, the same can be said
about Tupperware.

Learn about these interesting facts, and more at this week's happy hour!

A note to the few of you who STILL haven't shown up.  Please, please
consider all the work I go through to shirk my research responsibilities
once a week and slave over this hot computer, writing an e-mail for you.
This is the thanks I get? Oy!

Dan

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